I’m getting old

So I had a frightening realization tonight. I’ve become my parents.

After being home in the US for a few weeks this summer, I came back to a modestly stocked food pantry here in CC. Modest by 42 year old male standards. I had some noodles, and some cereal. I bought some fruit, meat, milk, and vegetables. And I had a bag of nacho chips and a jar of salsa. And beer. I’m sure all the men/boys reading this are thinking right now ‘modest, my keester. That’s a full-on party waiting to happen’.

Now nachos are not very common in Changchun (just cuz they’re crazy expensive and I’m Dutch and my wife wishes she was). Salsa is just as rare for the same reasons. So I decide to celebrate my ‘temporary bachelor status’ by breaking out the nachos and salsa. And a nice cold beer. I opened the can of salsa and the smell of Mexican goodness was immediate. Then I used a nicely shaped triangular nacho with no missing corners to scoop up a nice portion of salsa and enjoy.

Turns out that a bag of nachos does not maintain a certain ‘crispy freshness’ when left open for 6 or 7 weeks. The taste of the salsa was nice, but it was immediately overwhelmed by the dissatisfying ‘goo’ of a nacho bending between my teeth. I was in despair.

But then, as certain events as an adult are prone to do, I had to think back to my childhood. What did my parents do in this situation? They were Dutch (still are actually) and they would never throw away a 'perfectly good' ½ bag of nachos just because it was a little ‘wilty’. The solution came to me in a flash. Of course, the oven. You re-bake the chips at 350F for 15-20 minutes and they come out toasty hot and crispy (I think I stole those adjectives from KFC).

So in the oven go the tortilla chips. Down goes the beer. Out come the chips, into the salsa, and into the mouth. Of course all of us tend to have a ‘revisionist history’ of our childhoods. Apparently I am no different as I had completely forgotten how utterly and completely ineffective it is to re-bake tortilla chips. After my first bite, my memories came flooding back and I realized I never liked it when my mom tried to pass off the re-baked chips as ‘just about as good’ as the fresh ones. After I finished the bag of chips, I realized I too had accepted my parent’s philosophy. They weren’t any good, but they were good enough to not throw away.

I have officially become old enough to be my parents. I hope I can get to sleep tonight. And I'll just apologize now for the inevitable cold night in the fall of 2040 when one of my kids takes a bite of a stale nacho chip in their house and thinks, "what did my parents do when they had stale chips?" . . .

Back in Changchun

Made it back ‘home’ this week after another flying adventure. Flying out of Chicago to Beijing means ½ of your flight crew is from Beijing and ½ is from Chicago. Now, normally folks from Chicago are known for their Midwestern charm, but these folks hadn’t gotten enough sleep or something. I was sitting a few rows behind the exit row where a petite little Chinese woman was sitting (this is mostly a redundant statement by the way). The woman from the flight staff was asking her if she could speak English in a not so friendly way. Turns out the answer was ‘no’, which got her all fired up. I offered to take the exit row seat (just cuz I’m that kind of selfless, giving sort of guy). The stewardess asked me if I spoke English (which I thought was a little funny) so I nodded yes. Apparently you need to say the words ‘yes I do’ in order for them to believe you. I now know, in no uncertain terms. So the plane takes off, I have a little meal and doze off. After waking up a few hours later, I discover that the entire electrical package in this seat is broken. No video, no lights, just me staring into the darkness for the next 9 hours. I complained. The stewardess told me she was sorry. I said that wasn’t sufficient. She said sorry again. (in case I missed it the first time). Of course then the story takes a markedly happier turn as the purser arrives and tells me to follow her to the front of the plane. Turns out first class is nicer than coach even on this really old Boeing 777. Surprisingly, I was able to fall asleep again after I could recline my seat to a completely flat bed. I guess there are worse ways to fly. I know this is not the first time this has ever happened to someone, but it was the first time it happened to me which makes it a story worth telling. After being back in CC for a week, I was ready for a Saturday morning bike ride (which turned into a Saturday mid-day bike ride after a little too much Kolsch Friday night with Markus and the boys. The bike ride was slow and uneventful except getting lost (as I normally do) and running across this giant new church being constructed in the middle of nowhere (including a complimentary 5 story office building). I couldn’t tell if it was protestant or catholic (and I haven’t learned those words in Chinese yet to ask), but there was a woman selling beer in the parking lot which gave me a hint. So I don’t know if the church community in CC is growing or whether the government just decided to build a big church just in case maybe someone would want to go in the future. Just another one of those moments that make you go ‘hmm’. Also an interesting coincidence that there was a large police office across the street from the church. Final picture was a billboard outside a new housing development. The Chinese are not always very subtle with their marketing campaigns. This housing development was going to capture the spirit of America from the ‘sort of white house’ on the left, the ‘statue of liberty’ on the right, and an ‘airplane on top of a skyscraper’ in the middle. Huh? I’m still trying to figure out if this is funny or offensive. Since there are very few Americans who are going to see it to be offended, I don’t know that it matters too much either way.